The past six weeks have been crazy. Have you ever had something happen to you, and as it is happening, you realize it's going to be a breaking point, a fork in the road of your life? That your life from that point on will be defined as a "before" and an "after?" Yeah, I got one of those about six weeks ago and when my friend asked me “How are you, Chin Lay?” I’ve answered him, “things are not working well for me lately, but I think there will be sunny day soon.”
Oh yes, this only last for like…2 days?
This is definitely not a new issue, but it seems that things had now comes to the end and you don’t have any other option or help from anyone else. As an eldest daughter, a 27 years old working adult, I am not capable to help them at all.
I’ve been asked by my relative, why do I hesitated and not make any agreement on the spot when the doctor mentioned surgery is needed for my mom? Why can’t I have the right to hesitate? I hesitate because I’m afraid of I’m not capable to paid for the medical fee. And I would like to say my hesitation only last less than 15 minutes, because I know, there is no one else will be paying the fee and it was my responsibility to do it. So, mom got her surgery and currently she feels better now.
The problem doesn’t end here, another financial problem emerge. BIG AND NASTY one.
I want to say family members and money aren't always a good mix. But, in tough economic times or when faced with unexpected emergencies, I know my parents truly need my financial assistance and I’ll help. But for this round I really can’t commit to help, because by hearing that amount I really can't afford to do it, my resources are way too limited to cover the big hole, even if I offer to stop all my current project – my new house. It doesn’t even contribute 10% of the problem. I know by saying this, I'll be an selffish ass again.
It wasn't nothing new to me, I'm always the one who get crown as selffish ass,the bad daughter, bad granddaughter, evil cousin and a good example of a misbehave person.
I've get used to it, so, bring it on.
I've get used to it, so, bring it on.
4 comments:
Chinlay: Last year was a transition for me, both of my career, family and future. I felt what you're currently feeling too. To think or not to think, either way will lead to different outcome. Sometimes, I think till very frustrating too. So, sometimes, I just let it comes what may. Sun kei ji yin la...
Hi :)
I'm sorry I didn't keep in touch much and I haven't gotten around to knowing how's life with you. It sucks that some things are going the way they are *hugs* but I hope you'll hang in there and things will turn out for the better soon. Whatever it is, don't put yourself down - cause you are, and you will always be, a very awesome person to me :)
This year is like a tipping point in my life... Things happened so 'fast and furious'! I can't go Beijing because my mother suddenly depressed and I don't know what's my future like everytime my mom threaten me to kill herself whenever she doesn't agree with my decision. But I can't stop believing there must be a way OUT! Maybe waiting for some 'gui ren' 贵人!
Hang in there lay! don't stress too much, i am sure there is a way when there is a will!
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